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Charlies Vandals...
     
Charlies Vandals Group Members
     
Charlie Wheatland
Chris Sibley
Daniel Satchell
Bruce Ayling
Graham Lelliot
Max Ayling
Mat Lincer
Neil Souter
Matt Robbins
Sean Keenan
Paul Brinson
Paul Taplin
James Cox
Barry Winsper
Sophie Hearne
Jolene Humpreys
Marie Cooper
Hannah Sibley
Sam Lelliot
Sophie Winsper
Emma Sinclair
     
About The Members...
     
Charlie Wheatland:
Chairman and Mentor of Charlies Vandals.
Pursues Gin in his spare time. World Champion at Fart
Tennis and if you ask him, he will tell you something
that will make you scream. Mental age of 18, Charlie
is responsible for 90% of Brighton's Pollution, caused
mainly by his exotic fleet of custom vehicles (Legal
and Illegal) Obtained a doctorate in Skip-Pillaging in
1976 and has written numerous thesis on methods
of exposing genitalia. Volkswagen Creator and Driver since the Records began!
 
Mat Linscer, AKA Little-Man:
His love of Bread and Butter is not to be mocked as
this bear will destroy you! Created out of reclaimed
Iron in the 1970's, Mat will devour Brandy like a Panda
eats Bamboo! Past Transport includes an Orange Bay
Window Camper which he used to seduce his victims
with promises of wealth beyond their imagination.
Best served on his ten foot Long-Board in the Cornish
Atlantic!
   
Hannah Sibley, AKA Muriel:
 Never pull her finger! Loved by all and feared by
many, Hannah is a professor of Crochet. Her Beanies
are famous world-wide, gracing such famous heads as
Nelson Mandela and Charlie Wheatland.
In her spare time she enjoys dental work and traveling!
   
Daniel Satchell:
The Darling of the Model World, Mr Satchell is equally
at home on the waves or on the pages! Frequently
sighted behind the wheel of a bright orange VW
pick-up, he is easily identified by his consistent
laughter and year round love affair of flip-flops.
Possessing the ability to empty a room via the gift of
flatulence, Dan is often cheered but never feared!!!
   
Barry Winsper:
Single handedly creating the RAF at the age of 4 has
ensured a long and fruitful career in aviation. Although
not quite RAZOR sharp, Barry does possess a wit
beyond most human understanding. Machining Balls
into knobs is a secret passion along with the desire
to be scolded naked by none other than Mary
Poppins. Wife to Sophie and father to a dog that
snots strings of green longer than the nile! His taste
is somewhat disputed amongst his social circle but
one cannot dismiss the fact that his volkswagen bay
window campervan is sure gonna pack a punch!
   
James Coxy, AKA Toad of Toad Hall:
He loves fire. He loves beer. He loves playing with
fireworks and driving discourteously! Problem? Do you
want one? Outwardly loathing toward Onion Bhajees,
but secretly delights in devouring them whole! He will
back you up in a fight but only if he can start it!
Unless you're a Hemorrhoid, stay off his arse!
   
Graham Roger Lelliott:
World famous author and driver of Minis. The Boy Lel
broke the mould, fixed it, then farted in it and shoved
it in someone's face! He poses a threat to virtually
everything! Crack Marksman with an egg or paintball
gun. Owns Marks & Spencers but is now criminal
mastermind of the Environmental Agency!
Can camouflage himself as a lady! Graham holds the
world record for largest flame produced from one's
own methane! Porn is his forté! Married to Samantha
and brother to Kevin. Survived frequent assassination
attempts in the late 1990's and early 2000's.
   
Samantha Lelliott (previously Porter):
Long suffering wife of Graham Lelliott. Sam is Charlies
apprentice in Gin studies. Dominant in many ways
over her husband but also oppressed by his wiley
ways! A major share holder in Marks & Spencers,
Sam one day hopes to produce offspring with Graham
which will trigger Armageddon!
   
Max Ayling:
He makes cars, old cars, out of thin air! He has made
more Volkswagens than Adolf and Ferdinand Porsche
combined. Possesses an uncanny resemblance to
Keanu Reeves. In most cases he can be found under
a split screen VW camper where he enjoys eating full
roasts and lemon drizzle cake made by his dear other!
But he NEVER has any money!
   
Sophie Hearne:
Max's lover. Sophie is like a Mink. Sophisticated but
can be deadly. She enjoys fondling clay and drinking
whiskey. Sophie will one day stop Nuclear Warfare!
Never serve her curry from a tin or she will hurt you.
A connoisseur of life.
   
Chris Sibley, AKA Professor Stigley/Feral Boy:
 Christof has a long running relationship with Mother
Nature. Currently going through a period of turbulence
with Miss Nature, he has been involved in more
accidents than a crash test dummy. Tequila is one of
his passions along with rugby and cake making! Some
say when he's quiet he is in a mood, others say he is
just thinking! A creature of solitude and a socialite
also, you will find him in the pub, in the way or in a
mood. Has a degree in Fancy dress.
   
Neil Souter, AKA The Gruffalo:
He is paid to save lives but in reality, he doesn't.
This fierce looking man is in fact a timid and affable
gentleman. But ... he sleeps standing up. He has a
splitty called Derek and more stubble than Desperate
Dan! Neil can be quite a difficult man to find but
lookout for a hairdressers car and you will find him.
He is quite possibly the love child of Tommy Cooper.
Spoon Jar Jar Spoon!
 
Emma Sinclair, AKA Sharkey:
Possesses the incredible ability to induce an
earthquake with her morning farts! At the age of 14
Emma substituted her teeth for those of a Tiger
Shark. Working in pharmaceuticals has mutated her
into a man-eater. She is currently planning a career in
Newquay pursuing her child-hood dream of Shark
Karaoke!
   
Marie Cooper:
OOOOOHH! Marie loves jelly. And cock! She once
laughed non-stop for four days and as a result a small
third world country died! In her shady past Marie was
the ring-leader of a secret society of evil Girl Racers.
Now a reformed character, Marie can be found
catering and beveraging. Sister to a brother of the
volkswagen scene, Marie has the privilege of being
chauffeured around in beetles, splitties and bay
windows!
   
Jolene Humphrys, AKA Ginger Hussy:
Contrary to popular belief, Jolene is NOT a princess.
A seasoned drinker and snappy dresser.
She surrounds herself with loonies and people less
fortunate than ourselves. Behind the wheel of her
type 25 two litre monster van she makes for a
formidable on road opponent should you declare an
interest in an on-road duel! Do not let her feed you
hormones! Do complement her on her hair and admire
all the pretty pink stuff!
   
Bruce Guy Ayling:
Beyond description and beyond belief, Bruce Ayling
exhubes Art. Described by ArtMAG as performance
art in pure definition! He leaves skiddies on people.
He laughs. He shrieks. And if you upset him he will
"F**KING PUNCH YOU!"
   
Matthew Robbins:
Sponsored by KP NUTS, Matt is Jesus reincarnate.
He Rocks. He Rolls. Matthew can be found in his
native Dorset. Listen carefully and you will hear his
mating call. Its a high shrill P I Z Z A sound. Also fond of chips and beer. He plays with WOOD!
   
Sean Keenan:
Sean likes porn. Possessing a filthy mindset, this
enables Sean to hear what he would otherwise be
uncapable of. Some say he has the ability to see
through women's clothing. Some believe it! Others
don't. Also a habitant of Dorset, he can be found in
his humble abode in Blandford. Where bland people
are made!
   
Paul Brinson:
Do not let his haggard appearance fool you as Brinson
is in actually fact stinking rich. Born into high society
he quickly became the black horse and subsequently
was exiled to Poole. He also plays with wood and
women old enough to be his mother. Another Gin
drinker. Frequently compared to a Yorkie!
   
Paul Taplin, AKA Tappy:
Spending all his working life outside has turned Tappy
into a semi-wild beast. Often looked up to as a
parental figure, but often acting exactly the opposite.
Any Beer in his vicinity is quickly devoured at a speed
similar to that of a cheetah. Famous for quoting
"UNBELIEVABLE SCENES" one will usually find him in a
pub or place of dubious virtue! Has the ability to sleep
where ever he falls!